Hostess excludes her brother's girlfriend from Thanksgiving dinner because she criticized her dinner last year for being unhealthy, unnatural, and full of butter: 'My brother called me petty and said I was punishing her for being health-conscious'

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Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Nov 28, 2024 1:00 PM EST

Every lifestyle has limits. If you run every Saturday from 10 AM-12 PM, you might have to not if your nephew's Christening is scheduled for one Saturday at 11 AM. That doesn't negate all the other times you ran during that specific time all those other weekends, and it doesn't derail your progress in leading a healthy life. 

Sometimes, you have to make exceptions to your personal rules and standards in order to be healthy in a more well-rounded way. Not buying foods with dyes for your kids is one thing, but making them sit out of cake at birthday parties is cruel and borderline antisocial. Sometimes, you've got to be unhealthy for a couple of days out of the year to celebrate holidays the right way. The woman in this story carried her obsession with healthy food into last year's Thanksgiving, and now her brother's girlfriend is excluding her from this year's festivities.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10434811392
    via Unsplash+ (Karolina Grabowska)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for not inviting my brother's girlfriend to Thanksgiving after she ruined last year's dinner?
    via u/CrimsonTwirl
  • 03
    1 (32F) host Thanksgiving every year for my family. Last year, my brother (29M) brought his new girlfriend, Emily (28F), to dinner. I had never met her before, but I wanted to make her feel welcome.
    via u/CrimsonTwirl
  • 04
    Everything was fine until we sat down to eat. Emily announced she couldn't eat most of the food because it wasn't "organic" or "clean." She loudly criticized the dishes I spent hours making, saying things like, "I can't believe people still cook with butter— it's so unhealthy!" She even went as far as lecturing my dad about how his wine wasn't "natural."
    via u/CrimsonTwirl
  • 05
    The worst part? She brought her own organic food and proceeded to heat it up in my kitchen without asking. When I gently suggested she could've mentioned her preferences beforehand, she rolled her eyes and said, "I didn't think I'd need to, considering how aware people are of health these days."
    via u/CrimsonTwirl
  • 06
    This year, I decided not to invite her. When my brother asked why, I told him the truth: her behavior last year was disrespectful, and I didn't want a repeat. He called me "petty" and said I was punishing her for being health-conscious. My mom agrees with me, but a few other family members think I'm overreacting and should give her another chance. So, AITA?
    via u/CrimsonTwirl
  • 07
    CrankyWife NTA. You're not punishing her. You are relieving her of the burden of socializing with, and sharing an unhealthy meal with, people she dislikes and disapproves of. You're actually doing her a favor since she finds your company and food so repugnant. Enjoy your butter. And wine.
    via u/CrankyWife
  • 08
    Curious Vixen Here And, please add a little extra butter to those mashed potatoes
    via u/Curious_Vixen_Here
  • 09
    MunchausenbyPrada Also butter isn't unhealthy unless in large quantities. We need fat in our diet. It's actually excessive carbohydrate and sugar thats damaging. A healthy diet should include butter.
    via u/MunchausenbyPrada
  • 10
    Perfect_Ring3489 Nta. If she was r de, she doesnt deserve an invite.
    via u/Perfect_Ring3489
  • 11
    BeginAgain2Infinitum • 5h ago • → Top 5% Commenter Also, she lied when she said she assumed they'd have food she wanted if she came prepared with her own food. She wanted to grandstand and get attention. No sense giving it to her 2 years in a row!
    via u/BeginAgain2Infinitum
  • 12
    Ellesmaera This definitely! She came prepared for causing a scene. If you really want to give her another chance, do something like small regular dinners and not a big holiday. No need for her to ruin the holiday for everyone else. If he doesn't like it, no one is forcing him to go. He can stay home with her
    via u/Ellesmaera
  • 13
    Patient Space_7532 I can't believe he's still with her after that! If my SO pulled something like that, it'd be over before we even got home!
    via u/Patient_Space_7532
  • 14
    Jaysmkxxx This is the right thing to do! I will never understand people who date folks who are to their family and then do nothing about it. The moment a partner of mine disrespects my family in any way it would be a done deal. There is no need to talk to them about the issue because being kind and respectful to your partners family is rule #1. My sister is with a man that no one in our family likes because she has a 7 year old from a previous relationship and when they started dating he tried t
    via u/Jaysmkxxx
  • 15
    I never saw the behavior but I witnessed it one day and almost beat his face in. Ever since then he just stays away from family gatherings and if he does come he doesn't really talk to anyone. He thought that I would "mind my business" and try to keep the peace like everyone else in my family had been doing in order to not my sister off cause she would stop coming around with my niece. The shock on his face when I started cussing him out and telling him off was priceless.
    via u/Jaysmkxxx
  • 16
    Curious-One4595 INFO: did she apologize for her bad manners in the interim? If not, then OP is not being petty. She won't enjoy the food and she isn't good company. Why would anyone invite her? FTR, I have no problem with her bringing her own food and heating it up. But it's the kind of thing you discreetly give a host a heads up about, and some, like OP, might have made some menu adjustments to accommodate.
    via u/Curious-One4595
  • 17
    Far-Government5469 Whatever her awareness of organic food, she clearly isn't aware of good manners. Inviting her will teach her that she was right to "educate" you on the benefits of whatever the f she was on about.
    via u/Far-Government5469
  • 18
    Your brother needs to learn that she needs to be told to tone it down, and she needs to learn how to behave as a guest. is Just tell him the menu will be unfit for her since you will be cooking with butter. Seriously, her problem with butter.
    via u/Far-Government5469
  • 19
    VirtualPlate8451 My ☐ 8 year old knows better than to criticize food that has been offered to you. No matter how gross you think it looks or smells you smile and say "no thanks, I just ate".
    via u/VirtualPlate8451
  • 20
    Turbulent Ebb5669 Your house, your rules. Brother don't like it, he can host his own.
    via u/Turbulent_Ebb5669
  • 21
    ASweet TweetRose And the family members that say to give her another chance can do the same work all day on a large meal and then be insulted about it once it's served, see how they feel.
    via u/ASweetTweetRose
  • 22
    Linux4ever_Leo NTA. One can be health conscious without being blatantly r de to a hostess who spent hours preparing a holiday feast for their family and loved ones. This girl's behavior was over the top disrespectful and you have every right to ban her from Thanksgiving this year and if your brother thinks that makes you petty, so what? He'll get over it. He can enjoy eating cardboard and wheat grass with his girlfriend this year.
    via u/Linux4ever_Leo
  • 23
    Very-last-boyscout NTA and there is a word for what your brother is. This has nothing to do with being "petty" or "punishing her for being health-conscious". You just want to spend the day the way you feel like spending the day. If you want to eat a pound of butter and nothing else, than that should be your choice.
    via u/Very-last-boyscout
  • 24
    SparkleDreamsx NTA. Your brother's missing the point. It's not about health, it's about respect. If you want to enjoy Thanksgiving covered in butter and drinking "unnatural" wine, that's your business no judgment zone!
    via u/SparkleDreamsx
  • 25
    WisdomApplied Why did you wait an entire year to communicate this issue with your brother so he had time to communicate with her & she resolve it? She most likely isn't aware & lacks some social cues. Festering this feeling for an entire year is next level. I get why you don't want to invite her however, they are together & there will always be an issue & with each issue, there is always a solution. A healthier one at that..
    via u/WisdomApplied

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